How the work actually goes.
Every client is different, but the framework is consistent: stabilize first, build capacity, then do the deeper work — with measurable progress along the way.
Continuing Bonds model
Grief isn't something you complete. It's a relationship you redefine. The goal isn't to "get over it" — it's to carry it differently, with the person or thing still woven into who you are.
Meaning reconstruction
Loss cracks the story you were telling yourself about your life. We don't rush to rewrite it. We sit with the crack long enough to understand what it's showing you — and then we build something honest on top of it.
Stoic framing — when appropriate
Marcus Aurelius lost children. Seneca lost his son. The Stoics were not cold about death; they were prepared for it, and they loved fiercely anyway. For some clients, that framing helps. For others, it doesn't. We follow your lead.
You might recognize
yourself here.
If several of these land — even uncomfortably — this is probably the right page for you to be on.
- 01You've lost someone and the grief isn't moving the way you expected
- 02The loss happened years ago and you still get ambushed by it
- 03Others have moved on and you feel like you should have too
- 04The relationship was complicated — and so is the grief
- 05You lost an identity, not a person, and people don't understand
"Grief is not a problem to be solved. It is a weight to be carried. The work is learning to carry it without letting it crush the rest of your life — and to recognize it still deserves room in your chest."
Arc of the work.
Orientation
History, current presentation, goals. We agree on what "better" means and how we'll know we got there.
Stabilization & skills
Nervous system regulation, distress tolerance, and the foundational tools you'll use in the harder work.
Active processing
EMDR, ERP, or the protocol best matched to what you're carrying. Measurable, structured, and paced to your capacity.
Integration & maintenance
Taking what we've built and reinforcing it in the rest of your life. Spacing sessions out as you gain ground.